Once more into the blog ....

Much time has again passed since i last blogged here. I have offered a number of tit-bits through Facebook but not properly discussed our progress. As i noted at the end of the last note, i now understand what non domination, non conflict really means. I have begun to appreciate the challenge. And how that impacts life with Ernie.

I want to start with a discussion of what constitutes progress. Our relationship has been one of targets and goals, effective canter transition for example, and of course those have always been mine. I find myself now asking what those targets and goals mean in the mind of my horse. And i don't know. I do believe he appreciated the removal of the bit. That side the removal of a bit should not in itself be interpreted as a motivator, it is a small gesture of consideration.

And then as i try to position my aspirations in his worldview they seem to fade slightly, which in turn limits any effective instruction. Which reduces performance. I sympathsize, if I am am not convinced of the direction how can my horse be expected to travel it.

I have to think again. Not wishing to engage "the don't ride" argument at this time i have to think about what i want when in the saddle, i want him strong enough through the back to avoid injury in carrying me and i want to ensure that we coexist in a safe place. I want to hack him and take him out, i am indifferent to the competition world, this is no benefit to him and establishes purely anthropocentric expectations and behaviour models, but even the hack is "my wish".

This year has developed my love of un-pressured groudwork and play, i do believe Ernie appreciates the latter at least. This goes hand in hand with my Leadchange activities which have brought me further in my closeness to and awareness of horses on the ground. More to the point i am convinced that this work on the ground so strengthens that relationship far beyond the ridden. Closeness comes from the subtle eye contact, from observation of the entire physical being, from mirrored and reflected movements.

I am working out the stress of leaving my current job and this has developed some poor focus, tempestuousness and anxieties in me, my horse is aware of these, the horses on Leadchange training also saw it. On the course I had the opportunity to work out a solution. I can see that I need to bring that solution home.

Getting off and getting beside my horse helps me to see, it also helps me to see the problems that are invisible in the saddle. Ernie has been trying to tell me for a few weeks, at last i hear the message. To that end i have tried to just be with him, just to enjoy each other this weekend - i hope. I think it has worked. I think that I may have stopped the rot at least so to speak but i believe the challenge is still ahead. I need to remain present, i need to clear the mind and soul before I engage.

For me i want this to be something that we will continue to share.

It's been too long ..... but what a story!

It has been a long time dear friends since I have visited my blog to share things horsey.  Notwithstanding titbits and comments thrown out into FB of course.  In the down time there are so many things that I need to update.

When we last met in september I think we had just taught Ernie to load and he had started to go out visit some affiliated shows (not with me in the saddle I add) and a sponsored ride round Knowle park in Kent.  All with much pleasure and good nature.

Ernie then sustained injury to his digital sheath around the tendons on his offside hind fetlock.  In getting him back to work after 2 months I sustained a broken wrist (9 places) which kept me off him for 12 weeks.  Wow what a time.  But on reflection the cup is half full (apart from the permanent pain in my hand and wrist of course!), Ernie and I are in a stronger place than we have been before.  Though perhaps we do not look such a fine pair through the purest equestrian goggles.

In not being able to ride him I found myself driven back to ground work and free schooling because I could do nothing else. This has changed things. It has recast the way in which we look at each other.

How do I justify such a statement?
These are a few observations:
- His constantly relaxed mood in my presence
- When I leave his stable - and he is not mid snack - he moves to join me.
- He never resists or evades his tack.
- When we walk out he is never anywhere but at my side.
- When we work on the ground together he will mirror my gait and balance.
He is obliged to do none of the above so one must assume he acts through out of choice.

So what has happened?
My sustained injury meant groundwork or no work.  And I could not cope without sharing that time with him.  This found me reaching back to those natural horseman tendancies, previously espoused but perhaps less than rigidly pursued - see some earlier blogs.

So I started a series of visits to the round pen at Slades. Commencing with a revisit to the theatrical event that is join up and moved onto more subtle work together towards our own rather clumsy version of lunging which we perform as a shared event, ideally free in a round pen or or a loose rope if we only have a big school.  By together I mean, you trot, I trot, you canter lead left, I canter lead left etc.

The spirit of the horse at these times seems to expand and draw you in. It becomes truly shared event.  It is not what the I believe the good horsemen around would recommend or perhaps approve of but I am increasingly doing what feels right between us.

I am also find it increasingly difficult to be taught - I work better taking my lead from the moment and the feeling. Responding to what Ernie offers.  The groundwork made me realise his willingness to work with me. And I have become increasingly convinced that 'disobediance' was more confusion. Simply pausing to await an instruction that was understood. I forever question any ignored instruction.  His sensitivity to my body positioning becomes increasingly clear - and lets face it I am no yoga grand-master!

I spend a lot of time dipping into favourite dialectic writers/trainers such as: Hempfling and Nevzerov, as well as more practical ones such as Mark Rashid and Richard Maxwell, taking what feels can work or at least be applied by my naive state of mind and awareness. I cannot say that there is one credo, and at the end my modest talents do not stretch to theirs so one has to take what one understands and only move forward as the lesson is learned.

We are now moving into riding bitless - my reading matter would always risk this influence - because at the end it feels right. Philosophically I cannot knowingly dominate through pain. I do not in other relationship, so why with my closest friend.  Ernie is headstrong but also just, opinionated but listening.  Ernie only fights to defend or retaliate (nothwithstanding his reflection which annoys him when it doesn't politely wait its turn to eat!).  Currently we are riding on his training head collar which is not a solution, its too clumsy, and its steering is too close to its breaks, but it is an effective stop gap. Ernie is slowly establishing a better self-carriage now not having a forehand to lean on as he did with his bit.  As for me I have to use more seat control than I had previously being slightly heavy handed by nature.

It is difficult sometimes as this takes us away from the equestrian norms of show and competition, rosettes and awards, but I am reconciling to that. I am happy to continue the foregoing, but it has ceased to be the motivator.

I think the more you work your horse on the ground it changes you view of the horse .... standard lunging excepted where your horse is forever pushed away .... It ceases to be some beast burden, a means to some end, but becomes the end in itself. And then your world is changed forever.  The long road now seems longer for sure, and the speed we are travelling is slower, but the journey becomes ever more fulfilling and rewarding.

When I started this I said no confrontation, no dominance.  One and a quarter years in and I'm beginning to understand what I meant.