Much time has again passed since i last blogged here. I have offered a number of tit-bits through Facebook but not properly discussed our progress. As i noted at the end of the last note, i now understand what non domination, non conflict really means. I have begun to appreciate the challenge. And how that impacts life with Ernie.
I want to start with a discussion of what constitutes progress. Our relationship has been one of targets and goals, effective canter transition for example, and of course those have always been mine. I find myself now asking what those targets and goals mean in the mind of my horse. And i don't know. I do believe he appreciated the removal of the bit. That side the removal of a bit should not in itself be interpreted as a motivator, it is a small gesture of consideration.
And then as i try to position my aspirations in his worldview they seem to fade slightly, which in turn limits any effective instruction. Which reduces performance. I sympathsize, if I am am not convinced of the direction how can my horse be expected to travel it.
I have to think again. Not wishing to engage "the don't ride" argument at this time i have to think about what i want when in the saddle, i want him strong enough through the back to avoid injury in carrying me and i want to ensure that we coexist in a safe place. I want to hack him and take him out, i am indifferent to the competition world, this is no benefit to him and establishes purely anthropocentric expectations and behaviour models, but even the hack is "my wish".
This year has developed my love of un-pressured groudwork and play, i do believe Ernie appreciates the latter at least. This goes hand in hand with my Leadchange activities which have brought me further in my closeness to and awareness of horses on the ground. More to the point i am convinced that this work on the ground so strengthens that relationship far beyond the ridden. Closeness comes from the subtle eye contact, from observation of the entire physical being, from mirrored and reflected movements.
I am working out the stress of leaving my current job and this has developed some poor focus, tempestuousness and anxieties in me, my horse is aware of these, the horses on Leadchange training also saw it. On the course I had the opportunity to work out a solution. I can see that I need to bring that solution home.
Getting off and getting beside my horse helps me to see, it also helps me to see the problems that are invisible in the saddle. Ernie has been trying to tell me for a few weeks, at last i hear the message. To that end i have tried to just be with him, just to enjoy each other this weekend - i hope. I think it has worked. I think that I may have stopped the rot at least so to speak but i believe the challenge is still ahead. I need to remain present, i need to clear the mind and soul before I engage.
For me i want this to be something that we will continue to share.
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